One Year

 

You passed away one year ago today.  That’s one year of sadness, loss, pain, sorrow and regret.  We’ve tried really hard to not be super sad.  You would tell us to ‘get over it’.  You would tell us ‘it is what it is’.  We don’t get to hear your blunt matter of fact voice that held more than a tich of sarcasm most days.  We can’t phone you up whenever we want to tell you how are lives are going, or discuss the things we found funny, ridiculous or interesting this week.  You’re not here to share what you know about family recipes, family history and family stories.  You can’t try to explain how to fix things or drag out your sewing machine and miraculously repair a broken zipper or torn seam.  There are these reasons and a 1,000 more why we have spent the last year with sadness, loss, pain, sorrow and regret.

BUT, (there’s always a but), it has also been a year that our family has worked together, supported each other and got each other to today.  We’ve had a long year!  We’ve laughed.  Worked.  Moved.  Vacationed.  Travelled.  Lived.  Survived.

Becky sat us all out in the sunshine in your yard and dyed bits and pieces of our hair teal blue. We drank more than a few adult beverages and told funny stories about you.  We had our family reunion in July and all those faces, noses and feet that remind us we are related, celebrated our family ties.  They came from everywhere across Canada and gathered to laugh and have a good time and talk about their lives and remember those we’ve lost.  Your son has started a new career on the rails with CN.  He works lots, but he’s home more than he was before.  You would like that.  Your daughter has managed to juggle looking after your house, working from home, and spending time with her friends.  You would like that.  Your brother and sister and I met in Vegas and spent a few days hanging out buying $$ drinks and laughing at how ridiculous things are priced in Sin City.  You would have liked that. Your Powell River family really miss you.  Your friends miss you, but they remember you with a laugh, and they all have shared stories with us.

All our stories and memories that show what a character you were, how you always said what you were thinking, even when you might have been better off to have sugar coated it.  OH WAIT.. THAT was SUGAR COATED!! haha.  Your face gave you away anyway, so no worries, we all knew what you were thinking.

I’m going to start this next year remembering and reminding myself that you lived, not that you died.  I’m going to remember the good times and not the bad.  The laughter and not the sad.  You would like that!