what IS that sound?

The car with the mysterious noise

The other morning as I was heading out to my nicely warmed up, defrosted car, there was an older gentlemen out in our parking lot furiously scraping away at a HARD frost covering on his window.  He looks at my nicely warmed up, defrosted car with a bit of wistful jealousy and says ‘ I should have done that too’.  I agree and hop into my nicely warmed up defrosted car, without letting any heat escape, and do the Dogwood Dash to work.
Last night, after work, I do a bit of shopping and then quickly head out to Willow Point to try and get some pictures of the foggy ocean before it gets dark.  I successfully negotiate the driftwood scattered along the beach and take a few pictures before dark.  I jump in the car, and it is making a growling humming noise — what IS that?  I proceed to drive thru Willow Point, now accutely aware of this mysterious noise coming from the back of the car.  I pull over on Hilchey Rd and get out, walk around the car, listening for the noise, do a full circle of the car, nope, can’t figure it out.  So, jump back in and continue driving toward Dogwood Street.  Suddenly, the noise stops, (that’s good, I figure), but NO, now the car is hesitating and stuttering.  I proceed thru the intersection and pull over on the side of the street. 
Shut the car off. 
Turn the car back on,
Nope, that’s not going to work. 
Phone Randy. 
Phone a friend.
Wait some more. 
 Randy eventually finds me. 
He attempts to start the car. 
Nope, that’s not going to work. 
We leave the car, drive home and come up with a plan to phone BCAA in the morning and rescue the car all the while checking our ‘car budget’ to see how many $1000’s we have to spend to fix ‘the baby’
Later in the evening, Randy says to me ‘could it be out of gas?’.
I say, ‘well it could be, I guess……’,
I say, ‘but it was making a growling noise and what do you suppose that was?’
I say, ‘and it was coming from the back of the car, and it was louder IN the car than OUTSIDE the car’
Background info: 
– our gas gauge has never worked.
– the trip meter was under 400km
– 450km is fill up time!
– the car has a cute little voice that tells me when it’s about to be empty
We decide at 9:30 to try a gas rescue mission!
and the moral of the story is:
don’t forget that while you’re eating your breakfast, all the while, envisioning this nicely warmed up, defrosted car, that IT’S USING GAS TO DO THAT!!
I’ve never been so happy to embarrass myself as I was last night! It beats an expensive car repair bill anytime!!
The growling noise was likely the fuel pump (located inside the gas tank?) as it attempted to make liquid out of fumes or sludge.
I wonder what happened to the cute little voice that tells me when the tank is about to be empty?

I want to be 8 again! – My favorite joke of 2012 (so far)


A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.  Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

I’d like to be eight again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. 

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s.  What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you f@*#*! retard!!!!’

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.